Don't copy if you can't paste

Training program for top management A well-known motivational speaker gathering the entire crowd's attention, said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!" The crowd was shocked! He followed up by saying, "That woman was my mother!" The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech, which was well received. About a week later, one of the top managers who had the training decided to use that joke at his house. He tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It was a bit foggy to him. He said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!" Naturally, his wife was shell shocked, murmuring. After standing there for almost 10 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out "... and I can't remember who she was !" As expected, he got thrashing of his life time.... Moral of the story: Don't copy if you can't paste

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Honest Answers:

1.Why did you apply for this job? I have applied for many jobs along with this and you called me now. 2. Why do you want to work for this company? I have to work for some company who ever gives me a job, I don't have any specific company in mind. 3. Why should I hire you? You have to hire some one, you may give me a try. 4.What would you do if this happened? Well, it depends my mindset and mood at that situation... 5.What is your biggest strength? Basically, daring to join any company who pays me well, without thinking of the fate of company 6.What is your biggest weakness? Girls 7.What was your worst mistake, and how did you learn from it? Joining my earlier company and learnt that I need to jump to get more money, so I am here today 8.What accomplishments in your last position are you most proud of? Had I accomplished any in my last position, why do I need to change my job? I could demand more and stay there. 9.Describe a challenge you faced and how you overcame it? Biggest challenge is answering the question "why are you looking for a change" and I started blabbering irrelevantly to overcome that. 10.Why did you leave/ are you leaving your last job? For the same reason why you left your earlier job 11.What do you want from this job? If no work is given but keep giving good hikes 12.What are your career goals and how do you plan to achieve them? Make more money and for that keep jumping companies for every 2 yrs 13.Did you hear of our company and what do you know of us? Yeah, I know that you will ask this, I've gone through your website 14.What is the salary expected and how do justify that? Well, no one will change job for the same salary, hence, give me 20% extra than what I am getting and that is unpublished industry standard (I know you will bargain on what ever I ask, hence, I have already hiked my current salary by 30%)

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HOW TO START YOUR DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK

1. Open a new file in your PC . 2! . Name it " Boss " 3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN 4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN 5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to delete Boss permanently?" 6. Answer calmly, "Yes," and press the mouse button firmly.... 7. Feel better? HAVE A NICE DAY

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UNIVERSAL LAWS

UNIVERSAL LAWS Rudin's Law: In a crisis that forces a choice to be made among alternative courses of action, most people will choose the worst possible one. Chisholm's Law: Anytime things appear to be going better, you have obviously overlooked something. Livingston's rule of accuracy: When working toward the solution of a problem, it helps if you know the answer. Corollary: Provided, of course, you know there is a problem. Weller's Law: Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

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Modern Truths & Sayings

Whenever I find the key to success --- someone changes the lock.

To Err is human --- to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.

The road to success --- is always under construction.

Al©ohol doesn't solve any problems --- if you think again, neither does Milk.

In order to get a Loan --- you first need to prove that you don't need it.

All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening.

Since Light travels faster than Sound --- people appear brighter before you hear them speak.

Everyone has a scheme of getting rich --- which never works.

If at first you don't succeed --- Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.

You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down --- it will always land on the buttered side.

Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner. 42.7% of all statistics is made on the spot.

As soon as you mention something --- if it is good, it is taken --- If it is bad, it happens.

He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule.

If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late --- the bus is still late.

Once you have bought something --- you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.

When in a queue --- the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.

If you have paper, you don't have a pen --- If you have a pen, you don't have paper --- If you have both, no one calls.

Especially for engg. Students -If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.

You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.

All BMTC buses are crowded.Corollary --- BMTC buses in opposite direction always go empty.

The door bell or your mobile will always ring --- when you are in the bathroom.

After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other.

If your exam is tomorrow --- there will be a power cut tonight.

The last person to be fired or quit is responsible for all the errors --- until another person is fired or quits.

Irrespective of the direction of the wind --- the $moke from the c!garette will always tend to go to the non-$moker