Little Bobby

Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted. Mom, I want a bike for my birthday. Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Bobby's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Bobby, of course, thought he did. Bobby's mother wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the last year. Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year. Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday. Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter. ************ ** Letter 1 Dear God, I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one. Your friend, Bobby ************ ** Bobby knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year, So he tore up the letter and started over. ************ ** Letter 2 Dear God, This is your friend Bobby. I have been a good boy this year and I would like A red bike for my birthday. Thank you. Your friend, Bobby ************ ** Bobby knew that this wasn't true either. So, he tore up the letter and started again. ************ ** Letter 3 Dear God, I have been an OK boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my birthday. Bobby ************ ** Bobby knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Bobby wrote a fourth letter. ************ ** Letter 4 God, I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday. Please! Thank you, Bobby ************ ** Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike. Now, Bobby was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he wanted to go to church. Bobby's mother thought her plan had worked, as Bobby looked very sad. Just be home in time for dinner, Bobby's mother told him. Bobby walked down the street to the church on the corner. Little Bobby went into the church and up to the altar. He looked around to see if anyone was there. Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the Mary. He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen. Bobby began to write his letter to God. ************ ** Letter 5 God, I'VE KIDNAPPED YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE!!!!!!

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Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes

1. Every man should get married some time; after all,happiness is not the only thing in life!! --Anonymous

2.Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. --Oscar Wilde 3. Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. --Scottish Proverb

4. I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. --Sam Kinison

5. A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. --Anonymous

6. Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too. --H. L. Mencken

7. Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. --H. L. Mencken

8. "A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle." - U2

9.Marriage is a three-ring circus: --engagement ring ---wedding ring ---suffering

10.When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.

11.Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.

12.When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

13. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back to home always. --Anonymous

14. I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, "Some where I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?" --Anonymous

15. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops

16. My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours. That was only for the estimate. --Anonymous

17.She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off. --Anonymous

18. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in." --Anonymous

19. Badd Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses to get to married. He says "the wedding rings look like minature handcuffs....." --Anonymous

20. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife yelling at the frontdoor, who do you let in first? The Dog of course... at least he'll shut up after u let him in! --Anonymous

21.A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly parted mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, 'Why did u have to die? Why did you have to die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain in is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so? Deeply? A child? A parent?"The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied "My wife's first husband."

22.A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled " It really works !

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STUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS:

STUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS:

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1) BOY : May I hold your hand?

GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy. ***************************************************************************************************** 2) GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me! BOY : You love me... ***************************************************************************************************** 3) GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring?? BOY : Sure, what's your phone number?? ***************************************************************************************************** 4) GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest. BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple ***************************************************************************************************** 5) GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever. BOY : Don't you ever want to improve?? ***************************************************************************************************** 6) BOY : I love you and I could die for you! GIRL : How soon?? ***************************************************************************************************** 7) BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you! GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there?? ***************************************************************************************************** 8) SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss?? TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth. ***************************************************************************************************** 9) WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other. HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth. ***************************************************************************************************** 10) MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think, Peter? PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly. ***************************************************************************************************** 11) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?" Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday". ***************************************************************************************************** 12) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?" Pupil : "The moon". Teacher : "Why?" Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it". ***************************************************************************************************** 13) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?" Pupil : "A teacher". ***************************************************************************************************** 14) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?" Customer : "What other colors do you have?" ***************************************************************************************************** 15) My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs. ***************************************************************************************************** 16) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !" Sam : "It's a family tradition". Teacher : "What do you mean?" Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher". Teacher : "What about your mother?" Sam : "She's a woman". ***************************************************************************************************** 17) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?" David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated". ***************************************************************************************************** 18) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?" Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook". ***************************************************************************************************** 19) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?" Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died". ***************************************************************************************************** 20) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?" One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time." ***************************************************************************************************** 21) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?" One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."

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Clever answers by Kids

Kids in school think quick TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America . MARIA : Here it is! TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America ? CLASS : Maria!

____________ ________ TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank? FRANK : Because of the sign. TEACHER : What sign? FRANK : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow." ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __ TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN : You told me to do it without using tables! ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __ TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?" GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D- A-I-L" TEACHER : No, that's wrong GLENN : Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it! ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __ TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD : H I J K L M N O!! TEACHER : What are you talking about? DONALD : Yesterday you said it's H to O! ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __ TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WINNIE : Me! ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __ TEACHER : Goss, why do you always get so dirty? GOSS : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __ TEACHER : Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I." MILLIE : I is... TEACHER : No, Millie..... Always say, "I am." MILLIE : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet." ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __ TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE? TINO: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time." ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __ TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?" LOUIS : Because George still had the ax in his hand. ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __ TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __ TEACHER : Clyde , your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? CLYDE : No, teacher, it's the same dog!; ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _ TEACHER : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD : ( A teacher )

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EASY DIFFICULT

EASY	DIFFICULT
Easy is to judge the mistakes of others	Difficult is to recognize our own mistakes
Easy is to talk without thinking	Difficult is to refrain the tongue
Easy is to hurt someone who loves us.	Difficult is to heal the wound...
Easy is to forgive others	Difficult is to ask for forgiveness
Easy is to set rules.	Difficult is to follow them..
Easy is to dream every night.	Difficult is to fight for a dream...
Easy is to show victory.	Difficult is to assume defeat with dignity...
Easy is to admire a full moon.	Difficult to see the other side...
Easy is to stumble with a stone.	Difficult is to get up...
Easy is to enjoy life every day.	Difficult to give its real value...
Easy is to promise something to someone.	Difficult is to fulfill that promise...
Easy is to say we love.	Difficult is to show it every day...
Easy is to criticize others.	Difficult is to improve oneself...
Easy is to make mistakes.	Difficult is to learn from them...
Easy is to weep for a lost love.	Difficult is to take care of it so not to lose it.
Easy is to think about improving.	Difficult is to stop thinking it and put it into action...
Easy is to think bad of others	Difficult is to give them the benefit of the doubt...
Easy is to receive	Difficult is to give
Easy to read this	Difficult to follow
Easy is keep the friendship with words	Difficult is to keep it with meanings

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